Dear diary,

I remember myself being extremely crazy over Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny in the X Files during my childhood years. I love seeing them together. and i particularly love Gillian’s clean fair look (when she was young).

I love to watch them but I get damm scared after watching it. I even remember myself having night-mares. you know, X-files is not the child-thing. they have all sort of gross stuff like the heart-stealer that scoop out your heart etc…….

The X files will be on cinemas soon. Gillian and David will be seen on screens (together)! i can’t wait!

Since we’re talking about childhood here… … … let me share with you a tad lil’ of my childhood heroes.

my favourite chidlhood cartoon is: Rugrats

it’s about this stupid baby ‘adventuring’ in the neighbourhood. haha. I really don’t understand why I liked it so much?!!

my favourite sitcom is: Sabrina the Teenage Witch

I think I like the fact that Sabrina knows magics!

my childhood idol is: the Olsen Twins (Mary-kate & Ashley)

I read their news, their books & watch their TV shows. We grew up together…till today, i still think I like them. because they’re famous, rich & fabulous!

my favourite comic: Doraemon

My favourite storybook: Enid Blyton

Music wise, I listen to Celine Dion, 光亮品冠 & 阿牛 (Euuuuuuuuuu!).

Celine Dion remains in my list till today. Her voice is powerful, dynamic and influential! her songs reminds me of my childhood.

I always have this weird habit to associate meanings to songs – feels good to remember the good things from the past…

All of a sudden, i miss my previous home….my childhood, my everything from the past.

i hate people to show-off how good they are at something (especially using words). i believe that if you’re good at something, people will eventually see it in you. I never like to brag about my life, but that doesn’t means you know me so well that you have the right to assume everything about me.

I’m born and grow up in KL, have my own memories and history. have my own likes and dislikes. have my own way of living. have my own ups and downs in life. just like you do.

hence, please respect me for who i am.

Dear diary,

When unhappy or frustrated, all I need is just someone that really stand at my side.

I’m as simple as that.

Dear diary,

I’m being negative I know.

It’s not doing me any good I know.

Hope everything turns positive after a good night sleep.

Dear diary,

It’s Sunday.

I’m just back from group discussion on Film Studies. It was a productive discussion; I think it went well.

After discussion, we had our high-tea in McD. SS14 McD reopened. I like the renovated interior – very modern yet warm enough (ambient wise). Air-conditioning still as cold as it used to be.

I click on my frienster & facebook and browse at others’ pics; those people are happy in their pictures…

For instance, I feel blankness inside my heart.

I don’t know what’s going on inside me. I just know happiness has long gone.

It’s a very sad feeling indeed; I don’t know what I want; I just don’t like my life. Perhaps, I’m a bit lonely, not having someone to identify with. Or say, I really don’t know where I belong.

Dear diary,

The most memorable thing about today is probably the delicious lunch. It has been long since I last sat down for a meal with my family – especially my sis.

Dad made 猪脚汤, steamed la-la; Sis helped him stir-fry baby siu pak choi with prawns and I cooked the rice.

I ate a lot! it was deli!

Family is always the best. They won’t judge you because they know you best.

Nowadays, I’m experiencing complication of priorities simply because there’re too many priorities. I kept feeling that there’re so much to accomplish; so little time. and sometimes this emotion worsen when you know you’ve outstanding tasks, but you can’t get it done because of other priorities.

Basically, my biggest concern is my piano exam on august. I am seriously very damm worry about it. I need at least 3 hours per day for it. The pressure gets higher as time goes by.

I need to manage my time properly in order to spare that 3 hours. I really want to at least pass it. I don’t want to retake.

i feel tired, real tired. I need a good long rest.

Putting aside piano & assignment, I’ve so much that I want to do. I can’t stand my car being so dirty (inside out). … … I want to get a new-hair-do. oh shit, and my starbucks voucher expiring in like 2 days?! blah blah blah. can i? have some time-out? I suppose I can. because i control my life. i manage my time. i’ll slot those in soon or after.

Dear diary,

“I just reach home with P2 cam and portable lightings hanging around neck & shoulders. What a messy journey from my car park into the lift and finally my doorstep. I’m just too greedy, I want to carry all the stuff one shot. Coz I really don’t want to go back and fourth since it’s late already. I need to get some rest.”

This is the life of production people. Tiring but contented & happy (especially if you’re in a great devoted team).

May the happiness go on. Live it.

26.06 : happy birthday director EE!

Dear diary,

I’m more than disappointed with you.

it’s your choice. i respect it. but will execute it my way.

Dear diary,

All of a sudden, i feel that there’s merely anyone who really understands me, who I can identify with.

My world is toned bluish grey.

Sometimes I don’t know how should I live my life. I just want to be myself. I really don’t like to be judged.

I don’t like to talk whenever i don’t want to. I don’t like to eat whatever I don’t like to.

Am i sinful for that?

it’s the happiest thing when you have someone that understands you by your side.

Dear diary,

I haven’t been very keen in updating my blog lately. I kinda lost my passion for it.

If i were to use one word to describe my recent status, it gotta be “exhausted“.

Our documentary production has begun. I am most of the time shooting; or probably in the midst of discussions; or probably using the little time left to practice my pathetic piano pieces or probably getting some rest/entertainment (to balance-up).

My wish-list (in battle with time):

-new hair-do (in Sense Studio)
-hang out with my dear sis
-watch-up all my movies/series
-pick up Salsa; brush up Latin
-use-up my Starbucks voucher (shit, it expires on 30th June); I so need to use it in my favourite outlet (Borders, The Gardens)
-draw something
-spring clean my room (again?)
-extravagant dinner in Langat Hill
-dress up & go out of the house

My to-do-list:

-at least arrange notes
-documentary production
-practice for piano exam – extremely worry about it. it’s less than a month. oh god. i feel weak whenever i think of it. there’s too little time even if i allocate 2hours/day for it.this is killing me!
-meet deadlines for various assignment
-study for upcoming mid-terms.

Regarding the love-hate relationship with my subs;

i’m lovin Comm Law & Film Studies;
neutral about tv prod & comm tech;
not favoring media ethics (it’s like P.Moral – just that it’s in English)

My final goal for the semester is to enjoy the process despite how hectic it could be.

Uni life will end very soon. I know I can’t afford to miss any bit of it.

Dear diary,

Just a brief update on me & my life.

Last weekend, i attended my high school buddy’s birthday party. We haven’t met for decades…now it’s more than a birthday party …. there’re some elements of reminiscence of the uniform-days.

the food was darn good!we had barbeque, steamboat, desserts, free-flow of soft drink etc. we also played a little of Wii and took a couple of pictures. Generally, it was great to know how’s everybody’s doing. Most of them are studying abroad and it’s their summer break right now.

the other great thing that happened during the weekend was my sis’s home-coming! early on a Sunday morning, i waited at the arrival hall of KLIA.

Wednesday, i thought of escaping from the real world for a while. Hence, I watched “The Happening” in GSC Signatures.

I don’t usually love watching thrillers or action or horror. because it makes me feel bad throughout the process. i don’t like to be scared. i hate suspense. more precisely, i dislike dark,shaky,silent suspense. i don’t like watching point-of-views in thrillers especially those that leave you guessing for a momment or more. i don’t like having my butt swinging apart from my seats. i’m a scardy cat, i get frightened easily. i don’t like i don’t like conflicts and controversies (if you know me).

there’re so many ‘i don’t like’s. so what i like about the movie?

i like the fact that it moved me (using its overwhelming cinematography, slightly unconventional narrative structure etc.) this film is different from the others. the minute i drag my feet out from the cinema, the visuals can’t help but to play-back in my mind. indeed, i think it’s a better film than “I am legend”. it conveys a very strong implicit message – and manage to make me take it seriously.most importantly, it inspires me to blog again.

in fact, i’m talking so highly about it because……it’s really different to watch a film after you pick up the knowledge of ’studying a film’ (cinematography, narrative structure, decoding the meanings etc).

i feel i’ve moved on to a higher level where films are not merely entertainment.